I started my career during the Girl Boss era. Like many women around me, I learned very quickly that hustling after your 9-5 job was essential in order to achieve your goals, get noticed by upper management & ultimately climb the corporate ladder alongside your male counterparts. My wellness was so far down my list of priorities, it really wasn’t on the list at all. The aspirations of a twenty-something girl in the early 2010s was to do it all… yourself. Independence was the ultimate goal. Starting your own business, traveling around the world, filling the space of every time block in your calendar with appointments, catching up with friends, going out. My personal success was synonymous with my career advancements. There wasn’t an ounce of focus on having a work-life balance as the expectation was to respond to emails after leaving the office & attend networking opportunities on the weekends.
Looking back, my health was a complete disaster. I somehow failed to notice every sign my body threw at me: losing my period, aura migraine flare ups, unexplained rashes & hives, developing food intolerances, hormonal acne. Spreading myself thin was the only way I knew how to operate. I would spend the next decade in this extreme pace, with my stress levels stuck in a massive pit of high cortisol. In the span of 7 years I moved 3 times; 2 of which were cross-country. Leaving the corporate world for entrepreneurship was just the cherry on top.
By 2019, I was on autopilot. Yet seemingly at the top of my social media career. What started out as a fun little hobby grew into something I couldn’t have ever expected. I went from shooting photos in local ice cream shops to being an ambassador for big lifestyle brands. From behind the camera to in front of it. No one prepares you for the rollercoaster of emotions that comes with being an influencer. How sharing your creativity through photos & videos subjects you to online scrutiny. That the public’s reaction is what sets the benchmark for all future campaigns & ultimately the income you’ll receive. The tremendous amount of time & energy you put into this outlet could all be taken away in a second with a swift deactivate.
As the years went by, I didn’t notice my health’s decline until I ended up in the emergency room in 2022. Because unfortunately for me, my body kept score. The years of putting myself last came at me full force in the form of debilitating abdominal pain. The ER team did a series of tests (CT, MRI, ultrasound) but everything came back inconclusive so we just waited for the pain to pass. When I left the hospital, my life continued in the same way it did before. I persisted through 2023 shooting projects, running my business at full speed, and beginning to pack my schedule once again. It started off slowly at first, but the abdominal pain creeped back. Eventually I learned taking ibuprofen immediately at the onset helped take the edge off, but only if I dedicated the remainder to the day to being in bed with a scalding hot water bottle. With each passing month, it got harder & harder to sustain my current lifestyle. I was flaking out on dinner with friends, I couldn’t make it through normal shoot days, I was too tired to exercise. Something had to give.
By 2024 I made the decision to get off social media (check out the official announcement). I was never going to prioritize my health if I didn’t carve out time to do so. This was an extremely tough decision for me as I’m sure it would be for anyone; it’s a social norm to catch up with friends over Instagram. Losing the marketing arm to my business meant moving forward was quite unknown. I’m an anxious over-planner, so heading into these uncharted waters was less than ideal. But we’re doing it! As of today, I’ve been off all Meta apps for 6 months and slowly got off TikTok as well. Screen time for me comes in the form of watching movies & TV series, listening to podcasts and pinning on Pinterest. I have more time for doctor appointments, exercise and eating more home-cooked meals. I am still a FAR cry away from mental peace with my current health anxiety, but very optimistic that it will continue to get better from here.
